Play Pretend
In my Directing I class, we were assigned to take a script with generic dialogue and create an in-depth story. The moment I was handed a script and had to create something with my vision, I knew I wanted to flesh out and bring to life one of my passion projects that are loosely based on my experience with being an actor and being Asian American. The script I was assigned to was able to capture what the main character, Maya, and I had to face growing up: rejection. Rejection from family, peers, and a society that continues to be a white world. Rejection is what Maya faces between what seems to be her friend, Jasmine, at first glance before the big reveal at the end of the scene and the rest of the space around her. Not only does the Asian community relate to this due to the lack of representation we see in the media, but others are able to understand what it’s like to go for your passions despite the people you were close to and the rest of the world, specifically in dominated spaces, going against you. The scene deals with betrayal and rejection within your family. For many generations, Asian American families have always had expectations from their children, even at a young age, of making the right life choices just for the sake of their family, rather than their child’s personal goals.
As an actor, one must connect to the character they’re playing in a personal way, and this is what Maya does: this scene captures an inner conflict of Maya implementing the dishonor she caused in her family, especially as the older sister, making her family leave her side.
“Utang na loob” in Tagalog means “a debt of one’s inner self”, also known as the Filipino mindset of “I do this for you, you do this for me”. I fully resonate with what it means to be someone outside of your family and even society expects you to be while also recognizing all the sacrifices my mother as an immigrant from the Philippines has made to lead where I am now. I’m lucky enough to have a supportive family and end up in an art school to pursue my passions such as attending this class, but it wasn’t always that easy with my own mother. With this scene in mind, I hope to bring up the issue of the everlasting effects of what it means to choose your own path without the help of familial support as well as why the fight for more diverse environments with people of color, and specifically Asian women, need to be prominent in the world of film and television so that it may be accessible if they so choose to follow their dreams.
I had the opportunity to work with a great cast and crew that consisted of talented friends of mine through production and post-production. From storyboards to shot lists to directors statements, I was proud to go in-depth about why this story matters to me.
